An ever growing personal addiction

So folks,

I have a problem. I'm addicted to all of the media coverage of the 2008 Democratic Primary, and I'm consuming an alarming amount of internet bandwidth to slate my thirst for news/spin/commentary/etc...

At first, it started innocently enough: I've been a loyal NYTimes reader for quite some time, but after the whole Judith Miller thing, the Duke lacrosse thing, and the unholiest of unholies - Times Select, I started branching out and reading the Washington Post. The Post (owned by the same company as the NY Times) piqued my interest in it's extensive election coverage (much better than the Times), so I kept reading on and reading on.

To my dismay, I found that the Times and the Post couldn't keep up with my insatiable thirst for spin on Reverend Wright, sniper fire in Bosnia, and the pros and cons of wearing a US Flag lapel pin, so I dug deeper: Wonkette, The Huffington Post, DailyKos, Politico, The Carpetbagger Report, Talking Points Memo. Add the fact that I'm a really fast reader into the mix, and I was horrified to discover that I devoured ALL of the daily content from these web sites BEFORE 9 AM every day.

Eeek!

But even throughout all of this, I kept reassuring myself: "Shim, you don't have a problem. You just like to stay up on politics, which is a good thing, right? You're doing your patriotic duty, even though you're spending an inordinate amount of time watching Obama girl, the McCain girls (truly a horrifying set of vids, trust me), and random Clintonista/Obamite rants by unknown supporters on YouTube.

This whole house of cards came crashing down on me earlier today. No, not even when I found myself clicking through the Fox News website to see what the conservative spin on the Democratic primary was. Not even then.

It was when I was reading through the archive of Ann Coulter's blog that I had to walk away from the computer, go to the bathroom, and take a good, long hard look at myself in the mirror.

Seriously, Ann Coulter? Really? Have things gotten that bad?

Yes. I mean honestly, the last 2 weeks of coverage were worse than having your heroin dealer go out of town for a 3 week vacation in Mexico. I was lying in bed, shivering with cold sweats under the blanket, ranting "The Zogby, Gallup and Quinnepac polls are all a sham! The numbers don't add up! AAAAAAAAHHHH!"

What's a man to do? After PA, I got 2 MORE WEEKS until Indiana and North Carolina! I might need to check into Crossroads, or Betty Ford or some sort of shit like that, and the most pathetic part of it all is that I'll probably have to make up an addiction of some sort. Heads for crack, tails for heroin?

Call it!

-Shim