Friday, June 24, 2011

Technology, Power, and the Male Brain

Hey there, Shimmy… Blogging partner is back and has a few things to say about the innate drive that leads powerful men to send pictures of their junk across cyber space, between cell phone towers, and into the possession of complete strangers, desired women, and ultimately, TMZ.


With a solid history of sex scandals dogging the great leaders of our time: from Kennedy, to Clarence Thomas, to Clinton, to that guy trolling for hook-ups in the airport men’s room… we’ve all read plenty of in-depth articles linking infidelity to power and politics to cheating. We’ve got it. The charisma and drive that makes a good politician also happens to make a great womanizer. Many a founding father kept mistresses – philandering leaders are just as American as apple pie and baseball and sparklers on the 4th of July.


But this week while watching Weinergate play out, I’ve been pondering the repeated incidences of the virtual junk shot. What prompted Weiner to send pictures of his business to strangers via Twitter and Facebook? Has the gift of the junk shot always been a part of courting by powerful men or is this a recent phenomenon? After George Washington crossed the Delaware in the dead of winter and defeated the British in a surprise attack, I wonder if he ever took refuge from the bitter cold around a campfire while sitting nude for a tiny waste-down portrait that was then tied to the leg of a carrier pigeon and flown through battlefields, across rolling snow covered hills and into the window of a young lady that Washington had met the year before while in Boston for a revolutionary convention. I did a little investigating (read as: I googled ‘history of American leaders sending pictures of genitalia’), and my research suggests that this was not the case. At least it’s not documented on-line (until now).


History has historically been recorded from the viewpoint of those who told it. However, tabloid news and instant posts are products of the information age as we crowd source tomorrow’s history today. It’s naive to think that throughout the history of cheatin’ American leaders we’ve suddenly just come across a new cohort of perverts who fancy the image of their manhood (or bare pectorals) to the point that they want to share it with their constituents. I imagine that in yesteryear, these images were anonymous snapshots developed in the back room of some seedy photo-shop. They’re sitting in someone’s grandma’s shoebox of photos in between Uncle Pete’s 75th birthday and Little Billy’s graduation.


In some ways the virtual junk shot is a microcosm of the work that politicians (and let’s not forget sports heroes… Brett Favre) do: engaging with the public and building legacy. I’d like to propose that there are other ways for leaders to connect with the public and leave a lasting mark:

· Take a pottery workshop in your home district.

· Do something cool and get a street named after you.

· Host a picnic in the local park and carve your name in a picnic table with a pocketknife (you could even carve a junk self-portrait as long as no one is watching)


Just stop with the naked pictures on twitter, stupid.


That is all I have to say.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday the 13th - I refuse to leave my apartment

Well everyone,

1 it seems is a lonely number.  I think my blogmate done left me for greener pastures.  Today though, I have some bigger issues to worry about.  It's Friday the 13th all (ZOMG).  As per usual, I woke up to the sound of the 3 separate alarms I have set up on my cell phone, absentmindedly did all of the math problems to snooze for an hour, then staggered off to the shower for 20 minutes.

Today though, the old rituals provided no comfort and I was trying to rouse myself out of the dispirited funk that I've found myself in today.  This is unusual - I am generally quite a happy person after an hour of snooze and a 20 minute shower.  So I sat down and gave it a good thunk, and realized that "well shit, it's Friday the 13th maybe that's it."

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.  I'm somewhat convinced that Friday the 13th superstition/bad luck only applies to white people. But to cover all bases I'm putting myself in lockdown in the apartment until the stroke of midnight.  In the last two years I've been living in Seattle, I've discovered that the occasional 24 hour spell of self imposed isolation is good for the soul.  Gives me time to catch up on reading, cleaning, and time on the couch watching bad On Demand Horror movies.  Or maybe I'll geek out and start investigating the pros and cons of all of the different Hadoop distros out there.  That sounds like fun!

So I bid you adieu until tomorrow all.  Hope the sun is shining wherever you all are!  And for all you Wonder bread folks out there, look out!  It's Friday the 13th, you melanin challenged bitches.  Repent!
 

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Almost 3 Years?!

Short version:  I blame Erika for being in grad school.
Long version:  later today, but I gotta run out and restock socks and underwear

But before I go, just wanted to pop in and ask you all a question:

How come guys get so bent out of shape when I try to discuss best practices regarding pubic hair maintenance and upkeep?  I mean seriously, we could all LEARN from each other and help make the world a better place.

Think on that for a few.  I gotta go run some errands.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Green is the new Black, and I'm fucking sick of it.

Dearest readers,

I pride myself on being environmentally conscious. I've switched over all of the light bulbs in our house to compact flourescent bulbs, have been pretty good about recycling - I grew up in Michigan, land of the 10 cent deposit - have declared a ban on eating tuna for the last year or so, due to overfishing concerns, have avoided drinking bottled water for years as well unless it's fizzy. AND... I didn't drive a car until I turned 30. That's a big one, right? Put me on the side of the good guys for good ole' Mother Earth.

but...But...BUT!

This whole eco-friendly green shit that's sweeping the nation is getting out of control! Granted, there are people out there who have sensible ideas, and are doing admirable things. E-rock, my co-blogger is spearheading a really cool initiative aimed at recycling medical supplies (I'll let her espouse the details, but take my word for it - it's really cool) This post isn't meant to flame people like my dearest Erica for sure! To be honest, I say this mostly since she's a jujitsu fanatic and I don't wanna get tied into a pretzel, but I also think what she's doing is awesome.

So here's the reason for my rant/tirade today. I was surfing the SF Chronicle website, when I clicked on Violet Blue's weekly sex column for 8/07/08, entitled "Eco-sexuals do it Greener"

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/08/07/violetblue.DTL

"I have got to read this..." I think to myself, so for the next 5 minutes I'm reading about rechargeable vibrators, organic, cruelty free sex toys and lube, vegan options for sex toys, and certified organic free trade CONDOMS?!

There's even a section about recycling sex toys! Now my anus is a no fly zone, but if I was a woman, I think I might have some second thoughts about sticking a 2nd gen, recycled dildo up my hoo-hoo.

I think at a certain point that environmentally conscious buying has jumped the shark. I was out hucking frisbees with a cheery soul I'll call Barry, who works at New Resources Bank. New Resources is geared towards financing sustainable development: things like home equity loans for solar panelling and other good stuff. But even Barry had to say "You know what? This whole green thing has become the fad of the 2000's - kind of like interior decorating was a huge thing in the 80's."

I have to agree with Barry, even if he is an absolute shit frisbee golfer. So the point of this post is to point out that just because something's "green" doesn't mean you have to throw out your beloved Jackrabbit dildo. Maybe toss in some rechargeable AA's.

But remember: REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE in that order. Quit buying so much stupid shit.

OK, on that note, all this talk of sex toys is making me horny. I'm gonna surf some porn and beat off with some artisinal lube that's harvested from the blubber of free range baby seals that have been beaten to death with certified organic wood clubs.

Tata!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Inspirational story of the day

Hey there folks,

I know that Erica and I have been a bit lazy with keeping up the contents of the ole' blog.

So instead of new content, which will be coming soon I swear, read this.

It's a great little story about a US Attorney's big win, in contrast to the horrible shitshow that the Department of Justice has become during the Bush years:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/murray-waas/the-ninth-man-out-a-fir_b_50562.html

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Because you're a valued customer...

I hate junkmail. I hate takeout menus hanging on my doorknob and worse yet, blowing down the sidewalk. I hate the 10 lbs of propaganda that were delivered through my mail slot last month advertising pro's and con's of the 10 propositions we voted on in June. I am going to start working on a proposition for next year's ballot that limits the amount of paper waste created by propositions. I opted out of junkmail at www.41pounds.org, and opted out of credit card offers (here is a resource for you to do the same www.optoutprescreen.com). The junkmail still waits for me daily on my doorstep. Not only do I get credit card offers, I get convenience checks from my banks "Because I'm a Valued Customer...". Because I am valued, I get the opportunity to increase my debt with 4 convenience checks (debt is never convenient, trust me...) from 3 different banks mailed monthly to my house.

I recycle the general junk mail, but the credit card offers and convenience checks are a bit sensitive for the recycle bin. I considered getting a shredder, but it pisses me off that I should need to buy a machine that was made in China and shipped to America and runs on electricity and will break in 5 years to eat the junk mail that I keep asking not to receive! Arrrrrgh! I bought a used pasta maker to cut my mail into fettucini once. Kevin laughed at me, rightfully so. I was delivering my mail to the hospital shred bin until I discovered the shredder scissors seen here http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/shredding-scissors-178128.php - I feel like Edward Scissorhands with these things! You just have to cut one sheet at a time or you get a blister.

I've been happy with my slow and bulky manual scissors. It's a great mindless task and a wonderful way to slow down my fast life. I was even happier when I read that my red wigglers will eat junk mail along with my raw veggie waste. So I've been saving my shredded convenience checks and credit offers next to the worm bin and waiting for the right moment.

...Enter honeydew melon. Delivered on Tuesday with my produce box. I cut the flesh into cubes and stuck it in the fridge and was left with skin and rind. So I've been tending worms for probably two months and they've been happily eating my raw veggie waste and coffee grounds and ground toasted eggshells. I think they like it at our house, and now they have friends in the bin: mites and potworms. Fun! I've transitioned from a rough chop of my veggie waste with a knife to a fine chop in my food processor. It's pretty fun putting my garbage in the blender, and it makes a nice salsa for the worms. What this effectively does is increase the surface area of the food that starts to rot, so the worms eat the rot and the waste turns to humus (not to be confused with hummus) in about a day! So back to the melon... I really haven't dealt much with large scale fruit waste, and when I blended the melon scraps it turned to a large bowl of soup.

The moisture content of a worm bin is important to regulate, and my mixture was a bit wet for the bin. And then I thought of the pile of shredded credit card offers. I then made a dough by mixing two cups melon soup and two cups credit offer shreds. Tonight my worms are reaping the benefits of my valued customer status as honeydew scrap soup rots on the shredded offers. Take that, Bank of America! No, thank you, I do NOT want to transfer a balance before August 31, 2008! And furthermore, I don't appreciate you sending blank checks with my name on them in the mail every thirty days.

A huge wrong in my world has just been righted. My paper nemesis has been shredded and fed to manure worms. Today I feel like a valued customer, and I will smile the next time I receive a special offer from Citibank at my door.

Oh happy day,
Erock

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Shoutout to another blog

Oh man, this one is great. Check it out!

http://www.violentacres.com/